I want to give you a handjob with my mouth.
i feel like the prize bull at the rodeo. everybody got a ride, no one lasted more than 8 seconds and i'm pretty sure i kicked one of them in the ball sack
i feel like a lion cub that has been breast fed for years, and mom has left, and now i have to learn how to hunt on my own
Apparently she buried shit in the snow back in January and now that it's melted I found a flip flop, 4 spoons, a bottle of smirnoff, and 14 different candy bars
He got tattooed, peirced, and we're pretty sure he got rufeed by that fat chick. He was like a walking spring break stereotype.
ALSO, bringing a stapler to the bar is a good idea
He said I could pay him back in blow jobs. What's the going rate for those these days?
Its a first. Never been peed on in a line to concert. First time for everything.
She kept telling me it was a squirtgun.
if I was any more soft right now, my penis would be a liquid
Yes I slept with him, he was the only one not wearing a costume. Guys with costumes are just trying to impress you.
When did angry sex become our thing?
She looks like a Midwestern news anchor that got fired so she has done nothing but eat for the past 6 months.
Her son walked in on us and asked if he could "wrestle too."
Not my lover. I would rather lose all my teeth, and I fucking love my teeth.
she was just meowing in the corner eating frozen chicken nuggets
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