I didn't say she couldn't, I said you shouldn't.
you were carrying around a glass of vodka telling everyone it was Russian water
It's like she bought one bad life decision and got one free
we went through the mcdonalds drive through and you asked for a free sample of their fries to see how you liked them.
It wasn't a wasted relationship. I got road-head in an Escalade. I still keep that with me.
He got tattooed, peirced, and we're pretty sure he got rufeed by that fat chick. He was like a walking spring break stereotype.
Well he has that kind of carefree attitude that comes from a big penis
Like not in a "I wanna have sex with you way" more like a "I wanna cuddle your mustache way"
To my ex and my favorite mistake: I totally enjoyed hearing you have erectile disfunction via baby monitor!
You screamed "There's a potato in my anus" and proceeded to attempt to grind with the bouncer. Also, I'm pretty sure our Chem teacher was in the same bar as us.
Yeah he told me he wanted a serious relationship, but he's posting pictures of his dick on Kik.
He's slurring his text. I didn't think that was possible.
My ex's new girlfriends ex boyfriend is getting me my nipples pierced for Valentine's Day so who's the real winner here
She made kool-aid with tequila instead of water and rolled a blunt about the size of an Oscar Mayer hot dog. Best blind date I've ever had. I think I will love her tell my dieing day!
she's 6'2. you bet your ass i slept with her.
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