actually, I'm a sock model
Hey dude. Went to the hospital. Call me when you get up
The walls in my apartment are so thin that sometimes when I fart, I stop to listen if people are laughing next door.
Had sex to a Lionel Richie song. I have a feeling I was conceived to it. Finally reached full circle.
I just dumped out my gym water bottle and filled it with white wine. This is the end.
i can't decided whether the fact that her nipples are bigger then her palms is a problem or not
i will be blacked out in the shower. come get me. 20 mins.
im almost positive that in mid thrust she told me she was pro choice
Lube is flammable
Who is this??
He said he was walking down to the White Castle for sliders, still drinking straight from a 750. He came back two hours later pushing a grocery cart that had two puppies in it.
The puppies promptly had the squirts all over the living room, as he had fed them the sliders.
Come to my pity party. It's being hosted in my basement. The theme is ambiguously sexual cuddling and wine.
i just got banned from the m&m's website for trying to get poon slayer written on my custom order
i believe in u and ur pee
Someone wrote "LazerSwords" on my cock last night. My erect cock. Tequila is no one's friend.
Everyone in Columbus is two degrees of separation from my vagina.
Randomize
