week 6 of class: i have yet to go to spanish sober. i love being THAT girl.
Remind me to tell you the "if you give a mouse a special brownie" story when you get back
I feel like a great embryo-shaped weight has been lifted off my shoulders.
A baby just go on our party bus. What. The. Fuck.
I'm challenging a 70 yr old alcoholic woman who is half my size tonight. Wish me luck
So my birthday was awesome. Only remember 45 min of it but I woke up with a girl on the couch and a half bowl of ground beef
Oh man. Realized I was high when I realized how long I'd been watching Roseanne
I can taunt you with whatever I want. Like batman and sex.
Thanks for letting me rent out your vagina rec room. I don't expect the security deposit back.
I say that because you at one point were like a mama spider covered with baby spiders only you were a man covered with strippers.
Yeah, first date. First take a pic of him to circulate around for your friends and than have him fill out a short penis questionnaire. Seems completely legit to me.
eh, I feel I'm heading for a breakdown and I need to get it out of the way before I start writing that lab report.
I'll screw just about anything, but I draw the line there
girls shouldnt black out with american flag bandaids on their nips
Right before he dumped me... he got a really ugly pair of pants. They were twill pants. A pinkish color. When I'm sad... I picture him in them. It makes me smile.
Randomize
