Tell him to shut up cuz i said so. I lost my dollar shoe :(
fine then we can just have courtesy sex i definetly won't like it
He just posted pic of sad weiner and half a butt cheek. That is it. I HATE online dating.
Just saw a girl in a wheelchair puke then rally. Diversity matters.
every single one of us blacked out. we woke up the next morning and it was like the night never happened. IT'S STILL A MYSTERY
How many times can I tell him I wasnt expecting sex before he realizes I'm just too lazy to shave all the time?
Did you really just text me at 6:35 in the morning asking where the condoms were? I moved out a year ago.
I just laid my head on this pillow and I smelt your penis. It was comforting.
He will. He has no choice. What's he gonna do? Find a better fuck buddy? We both know that's not possible. I'm the ideal friend with benefit. Minus snoring and uneven tits.
I just windexed my mirror headboard, Lets get to work.
I swear I can feel something in my uterus. Like, I can feel his sperm searching for an egg. Wtf...
this night just went from meh to biblical thanks to drunk naked yahtzee
woke up and somehow me leather belt got torn in half. either we partied with the hulk or some chick just could not wait to see my dick. probably the former tho
Doing the walk of shame from the back of a Jeep to the porta potty it's parked next to while your dad watches is not what you want.
dude im trying to eat his ass so can you stop for 10 minutes
Randomize
