Dude why does my asshole itch so bad?
I'll teach you how to wipe better
I take back everything bad I said about that song party in the usa. There's just something about seeing a cross dresser lipsing it that makes a song sooo much better.
Stoned ambition #8. Must learn sign language.
Remember that foreign guy who never talked last night? He just came out of my bathroom when I woke up.
Then you can skip the embarrassing can I date your ex since you're a lesbian now conversation
i'm gonna start fucking more girls with asthma. help feed my ego.
I rarely go in there. Unless it's for mini cadbury eggs and whiskey.
I know. You don't know poor life choice until your sitting on the floor of a community bathroom waiting to vomit at 4 am
Someone asked me what I was drinking, I was drinking rum, but I was also eating starbursts so i told them "daiquiris"
I'm taking myself to the hospital right now b/c there is no way this erection is subsiding in the next 4 hours.
It's like that thing with the devil and the angel except one shoulder has orgasms and the other has stuffed crust pizza and depression.
The cops spotted my on my walk of shame down the boardwalk and gave me a ride home. I'm starting to make a name for myself here.
Btw. I have a sinus infection from doing cocaine in a portapotty at a Duran Duran concert. So, gimme a couple of days before y'all start the party.
Ok here's the plan: birth control, KFC, handcuffs.
He can be a kind, caring soul but also give in to the temptation of eating unicorn ass.
Randomize
