she just put all the cheese in the refrig to sleep.. and yes we did finish you bottle.
Don't worry, there is no such thing as a fat, old or ugly blow job.
I saw two morbidly obese women get winded after fighting over the last motorized wheelchair at Walmart
These are the moments in life you observe a force greater than us at work
We're talking about addictions in class and there's a girl 2 rows in front of me on Farmville. Hello, example.
When that rick ross song came on he started ripping up dollar bills and pouring out drinks on the floor. I'm all for ignorance but it was a little excessive for a wedding
SURVIVED FINALS. CAN'T DIE FROM ALCOHOL POISONING. NOTHER SHOT. CAPS.
She keeps sending, "show me your elephant trunk."
I just got peed on. This karma circle is starting to get vicious.
It's like a squid of pain has attached to my head and it spreading it's whorey tentacles all over.
Such a good question, let's ask the alcohol gods for the answer.
He did a line of coke off my stomach then flipped me over and smacked my ass. Then, while he was talking dirty to me, he told me he wanted to hire someone to clean my room. And that's when he lost his boner. Life is so hard.
you got in a fight with your imaginary friend last night when he didn't catch you after a surprise trust fall
Why is there never any toilet paper at his apartment? What does he wipe his ass with? WHAT DOES HE WIPE IT WITH?!?
If you can't beat em, make them send you dick pics so they can't do anything stupid again.
I snuck a teenager into a club last nite, I felt like such a criminal. It was Awsome
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