well that one time I was being a total idiot trying to see how much I could drink. turns out 22 shots is too much. surprise surprise! ambulance party!
you kept calling numbers in ur phone book and saying, "I love your show, I'm a long time listener, first time caller."
We may or may not have a drunk cat on our hands.
I'm not saying I want a booty call. I just want what Cory and Topanga had.
I need to figure out what I wanna do with my life.
There are margaritas in the freezer still.
In hindsight, trust falling your grandma was a bad idea. Sorry about that.
Okay I woke up in my room, snuggie on, had a water bottle in my hand my tv was on Disney channel and my cigarettes are gone. And I deleted every text in my phone but one that said 'you are absolutely welcome'
I'm sorry I tried putting my balls in your cup holder.
When I picked you up, you were drinking Maker's Mark out of the bottle with a crazy straw.
Because I know nothing is hotter than ocean themed dick pics on SnapChat...
He got naked after doing the Ice Water Challenge and it was still enormous. So, yeah, I stayed over.
Sorry you felt insulted last night let me rub your butt in remorse
do you think there's enough of the fabric you gave me to make a crop top for a cat?
We havent had power for three days. What else is there to do besides drink and fuck? I thought that was obvious.
Straight boys are literally imbeciles. If Darwinism doesn’t get them female rage will.
Randomize
