He washed my hair whilst I gave him head in the shower. Bored or gay?
just leaving uw hospital. they thought i had franzia-induced appendicitis. whaaaaat
I'm pretty sure we put the facepaint on during whippets
She's more of a "I'm gonna get herpes no matter how great her face looks like" pretty
Pretty sure I was rubbing Halloween candy all over my face and saying "these are my bitches."
probably one of the worst weekends ever... i got peed on by his sleepwalking roommate.
You may want to re-read your sent texts from last night. You were texting me about your "fire shits" spelled 6 different ways between 3 and 5:30 AM.
I have nothing to say for myself. When 2chainz comes on at the bar all bets are off.
Dude. Going to the Theme park the day after the 4th of July was the worst idea I've ever had.
I have his gate key so know he has to see me again.
I felt like I was selling my soul to satan but then I realized I already pawned it for drug money
JUST DENIED A NEW YEARS KISS BECAUSE HE WAS A COWBOYS FAN.
I don't want my vagina anymore.
I'm hammerd and his penis is still the size of a giraffe's neck
My law teacher drew an elephant on the board in class. I was so high that I laughed for 5 minutes straight. Nobody else laughed and everyone stared. 130 people knew I was high.
Randomize
