Whats contracted in vegas does not stay in vegas....
we black-lighted her bedspread and it looked like a jackson pollock painting.
you missed a midterm to shack? WOW. How desperate are you?
i blame lastnights decisions on friday the 13th
There is still throw up in my sink from before break. God I missed this place
fuck he's narrating my life in a british voice make him stop im way too fucking high for this
Somewhere between catching the stove on fire and not being aware of it being on fire while I'm in the living room. I drank too much.
will emailing you the 64 kama sutra positions I want to try during the 3 days your here turn you on or terrify you?
Remember middle school health class where we used to say that when we lost our vcards we would be on the pill, using a condom, and have had our partners tested first? We were so optimistic.
But Monday we'll be living in a post-apocalyptic hellscape. Also, I'm going to a champagne tasting.
I know he'd never cheat on me. It'd be like choosing Mexican tap water over Patron.
Buy Actually if the police need to find my body I'm on an air mattress in an apartment near a McDonald's that's all I see out dat Window
Well its all fun and games until you get naked with your ex in the shower. that's NOT flirting
Wow. Memory lane. What a horrendously unsightly jizz stain on the tapestry of life.
NO I WILL NOT SET YOU UP WITH MY TWIN WHAT THE HELL IS WRONG WITH YOU?!? JUST BECAUSE I WONT BLOW YOU DOESNT MEAN YOU CAN STALK HER AS A BACKUP PLAN YOU SPANISH BASTARD
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