i just got a UPS package from a name and address i dont know, with one of my thongs in it. no recollection.
I jacked off with the cucumber and then made that fatass a salad.
Corey Haim died. 80's me is so sad
no seriously. she's even got the premier of the real L word on her calendar at work. that lesbian.
You hit on my mom and then passed out in the kiddie pool.
Single person behavior: I wanted a cookie but was too lazy to make or go buy any, so I let cookie dough ice cream melt and ate all the chunks. Pantsless.
5am update: in a toga seeing triple made out with both sexes
Of the 4 nights I've gone downtown this week, I've been "piss in the parking lot" drunk 5 times
I seriously doubt I'm gonna be able to properly put your dick in my mouth whilst upside down, but I'm willing to give it my best shot
Will you be super villain lesbian lovers with me for halloween?
He offered to dress his dick up as Charlie Chaplin to cheer me up.
Keep him.
There's a Japanese guy here dressed as a Viking who just screamed "wats up cocksluts" and kicked a guy in the face. come get me out of here.
I am going home. I have pee on my pants. Rachel is driving and I and drunk. It is not Rachels pee. It is my pee.
I think I gave a random lady a dildo
Again?!
My body isnt used to all this fresh air, sun and booze....ok well maybe just the fresh air and sun...its used to the booze.
Randomize
