We walked because you started screaming when you finally realized he wasn't Ben Bailey and it wasn't the Cash Cab.
i woke up naked with 27 half ripped $ bills in my bed from ripping them off the wall of the bar
Nick just found a baggie of 3 year old shrooms in his desk drawer and downed it all with cheap white wine. I am not on vomit duty tonight.
You coming out tonight? We gotta hang out before I move to Madison. BTW I'm moving to Madison.
I remember sucking his bleeding finger and then it's all black until he had his hand down my pants.
I booked us a cruise for November. Lose 20 pounds and don't cheat on me before then.
Showering in my swimsuit in hopes of getting the beer smell out.
do you know how hard it is to walk a mile drunk on 151 it's hard yards are soft and every girl looks good
My attorney has my name in her roldex as need to hit that. Im gonna win my case
I have a LOT of reasons to worry about radical feminists taking my lady balls, frankly. A lot.
Oh man 11pm. That means it's time to take my shirt off an eat a brownie
One eye has cum in it and the other has sunscreen
summertime
Taylor Swift needs more songs about threesomes. I'm not sure she gets me anymore.
Go have a frustration cry and get over it
Im 76 percent sure I took a fully clothed shower last night.
Randomize
