Excuse me do you have gonnorhea?
you left your dildo in my car
rules of finders keepers apply
I had sex with her because I didn't want to hurt her feelings.. You're the one who told me I should be more sensitive.
"Bring the kids" is the most terrifying 3 words I've ever heard in my life.
He asked me when I was coming to bed while simultaneously drilling a fart into the mattress. Don't fucking get married.
The only thing that got rode last night was the shit face train. I brought him home to see wht all the hype was about and he just started crying and puking in my bathroom.
We were sitting outside of the building and he literally just walked up with no pants on. This is the best college ever
you fail at everything in life besides blacking out
I just had sex a few hours ago now i'm eating frozen yogurt making sex plans for tonight while catching Pokémon. What a time to be alive.
Why thank you for your unwanted opinion, person I've never met before.
Most people would agree that it IS in fact slutty to give someone head for free ice cream.
She tried to fuck me right at the bar in front of everyone. She actually got my pants unzipped before I realized what was going on.
there is a tent in the living room. its a vip tent room. i want in.
Finally fucked my buddy's mom!! We are both ten years older and for her it really shows but i hit it!!
So there we are, fucking beneath the Christmas tree and I glance up and see one of the local Jehovah's witnesses staring in horror through the decorative glass in the front door. I'm so proud of us.
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