Going to spend my cab money on more shots and just take the ambulance home
When are you freeeeeeeeee?
My phone auto corrected that to freeeeeeeeeedoooooooooom. That's kinda awesome.
Definitely got drunk and sent her a literal picture of my asshole. I titled it " you"
Gentleman, we have a new medal category - number of women per day in apartment WITHOUT FURNITURE
I just woke up naked clutching a Taco Bell bag.
I feel like everytime I call him he's either fucking or getting into trouble. It's really disturbing that he presses the answer button and then proceeds to fuck her harder.
I'm going to die alone in my chair and get eaten by my cat. That kind of break up.
Blacked out drunk in California and woke up somewhere in Arizona, I'm pretty sure I got here on foot
At first I was nervous about leaving him my undergraduate legacy, but apparently he made out with lesbians, woke up with hickeys and a different shirt. My family name will survive.
do you remember your solution to not spill your drinks last night? .. Shots, that way you wouldnt have time to spill them. i love your drunken logic haha
Wanna have a sleepover and take me to court in the morning?
Ethically, this is the worst thing I've ever done. Financially, however...
while on the topic of showers...why is there apple juice in our bathtub?
oh you can't commit, don't have any real ambitions, and love to drink PBR? well.... sign me up!
Video on mandys page of you drinking upside down was finally put up...too bad all the comments were about me and him fighting in the background while he screamed "BLOW BIG BETSY!'
Randomize
