I'm 3 blocks south of you watching drag queens.
Well I scaled a 3 story building last night to get laid. What have u done for ur penis lately?
if you lined all their dicks up next to eachother, it would be like at&t bars
just peed on the 7/11 floor and casually left. Omg so drunk
Briing, briiing- tricycle ridden. Where is my crown?
And if I don't get arrested for drinking and canoeing over the next 3 days, this hurricane will not have turned out anywhere near as well as I planned
Still butthurt there's a framed picture of me passed out on the toilet in my grandparents' living room
Seriously, though. As long as it's attached to you and is not a vagina, I will not be disappointed.
Today is going to be a great day. He just brought me a donut on his dick... It's Sticky Dick Donut Day!!!
I gave myself a charlie horse masturbating this morning. I feel like that really set the tone for the day.
It's probably not a good thing when it isn't even 6:30 and I've already drank an entire bottle of wine. By myself. I'm watching Spice World and I just bought 2 Spice Girls albums off itunes.
Make that 3 Spice Girls albums.
I just talked with someone about real estate trends in Atlanta then got three blowjobs in a row. Boom.
I think I left my bra and my crocs in your room
thanks for letting me have sex in your bed, too bad you didn't get to yet
who are you?
I just wanna go home jackoff, eat chicken fingers, drink beer, play halo and go to bed. I'm sick of this shitty school, the shitty kids and having to fucking teach them.
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