so for future reference,at what point did you feel like a line had been crossed?
so i just realized i am an alcoholic. I was making some tomato soup because im still sick, and put vodka in it. sad huh? lets go out!
I smuggled my gin and tonic out of the bar by shoving the glass in my pocket...mistakes were inevitable.
He waited until after foreplay to tell me that he didn't have a condom and "we" would just have to settle for a bj tonight...
I'm not considering your visit a success until we've fucked every cock in the ethnic rainbow...between the four of us we should have it done by x-mas
Seriously I will never run in my wedges while drinking racing home to have sex ever again
My stepdad and I just tag-team hit on a server at McDonald's. This is the man I should have grown up with.
Ur dog was like a damn middle school chaperone this morning trying to lay between us after what he saw us do last night
nothing like going to the bathroom, running into the wall, thinking its a person and saying"its ok i just had the 4 beers" even the wall knew i was lying
Where were you last night, and why am I not surprised that drag queens were involved?
Nothing tops off the night like giving emotional and spiritual guidance to a 70 year old transvestite.
The only word that describes how much hair I shaved off of my ass is "considerable".
I'm wearing a fleece onesie eating pop tarts on the train to work. Killing it.
I had to cum in my sink.
So my furniture is upside-down, two lamps are glued to the ceiling, and there is a kitten sleeping on Kyle's face. Please tell me what happened last night....
Randomize