I think it's safe to say that I made out with the entire msu campus this weekend
I was in the bathroom and heard my brother scream "YOU FAIL!!!", and I swear to GOD, I thought my penis was yelling at me.
she broke up with me using backstreet boy lyrics
you deserved it if you knew it was backstreet boys.
I just withdrew $200 in ones. I think the teller knew what was up
but the good news is i woke up with 15 dollars in my pocket so i probably sold my phone instead of puking on it
Sunburnt clitoris. How do I deal with it.
Just heard Miley Cyrus' version of "Every Rose Has Its Thorn". Fuck everything. If you don't have an std you have no right to remake this song
Sorry about blasting sandstorm on a loop when i left for work this morning. But maybe this will teach you to not come home trashed on a tuesday night with some chick and have loud sex till 4 in the morning. The walls are thin, remember?
So was it you or me who decided it was a good idea to inscribe fuck you on the counter?
That was me. Just a 'welcome to our home' kinda thing.
I deem her datable let the dance of attraction commence
bah. we'll see. don't give yourself a boner of false hope.
Had the longest conversation today with a potentially homeless cuban woman about mind control.
Gym?
Sweet baby Jebus, no. I'm Motley Crue hungover. This must be how it feels to rail a line of ants.
I think it would be reallllly cool if you took your best friend to work so she doesnt have to have an awkward cab ride with the driver she drunkenly made out with last night ...
Sorry that I was such a monster last night. It was the drugs, I promise.
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