I want my own midget army. I think I would be a good midget army leader.
We are so in love
so when's the next time you get to see your balls
too bad they don't have a 'people you may be able to do' thing on facebook. it would save me a lot of fucking time.
If we're like this now and women reach their sexual peak in their 30's, I can't even fathom what our futures hold.
What do you mean you don't pregame your bikini waxes?
THERE ARE SO MANY GREAT DICKS IN THE WORLD. HOW DID I NOT DISCOVER THIS SOONER!?
I feel like I should come with a warning like "Orgasm free since 1983"
it took me 20 minutes to get her upstairs... she crawled under a car and wouldn't come out.
I think after that blow job he got the other day he'd set himself on fire if I asked.
She danced with a broom while telling me I was "cool as shit" and she "wishes she could take a portion of my big ass and attach it to hers" then she passed out
Hardcore start to spring break. Mike is wearing adult diapers because the only stop we are making is for gas.
Last night he asked the cab driver "if you were in the middle of getting tattooed and the tattoo artist suddenly got a boner would you leave or would you get that boner??"
Apparently I walked to Denny's in the pouring rain without shoes just socks last night. Excellent.
You throw up behind 1 mannequin and it's world war 3 in forever 21
He will be so fat that the winter can not penetrate his blubber.
Randomize
