Please advise as to how precisely ashamed I should be if I just became sexually aroused by a Harry Potter and the Half Blood Prince preview
What are you doing?
High. Watching Billy Mays infomercials...
That guy could sell me cancer.
Fucking Canada. At least when they wake up tomorrow they're still in Canada
george bush was a better president for first pitches than barack obama. there. i said it.
All semester I have been trying to figure out if this kid in front of me is gay. His cell phone just went off with Britney's "Circus". Case closed.
we are torturing ourselves with these mediocre cocks
Don't use the things I tell you while drunk after the bruins won the cup against me
I knew things were bad when I walked in on you feeding juice to your iPhone
Suddenly I feel like all I did this summer was have sex in our apartment
You fed me pizza off a sword last night.
well i don't NEED my liver but it's nice to have one when you're trying to have a good time
I woke up this morning and I had the absolutely horrific realisation that I am the human incarnation of scrappy doo
I'm literally in the bathroom for two minutes and I walk out to a random dude with his face in your tits
Her 4ft mother helped 5ft10 passed out me from the car to my girlfriend's bed at 1am...with whopper in hand
i think if a sober person was watching us they would have not thought we were witty
Randomize
