Can't imagine what could be worse than pet-naming your penis, but I'll let it go.
Michelle and I recorded her bunny humping it's little rubber black ball.
Just filled up my pledge keg goblet with coffee at bp. They can judge all they want. At least I'm not killing baby dolphins.
great idea involving lots of fake blood and face paint, call me tomorrow.
No, he's ok. He just broke his teeth on the stripper pole. No biggie.
just saw someone climb out of the dumpster at cvs and start walking down the street like it was completely normal
theres pictures of him knuckle deep in her, both of them thumbs up and cheesin. someone should take her kid away
Caught in the act of lying. Lipstick literally all over his dick. He tried to make some story about darkwing duck or some shit but failed to realize he is a complete moron.
Yes. Be the home wrecker you've always dreamed of being.
I was drunk petting a fox and taking shots of Jager. That's about as outdoorsy as it gets.
Buying her a drink is like giving a seagull a French fry, all you're gonna do is get annoyed and shit on
your life is not complete until you watch a gaggle of murderous clowns dance to gangnam style.
also, what is the correct term for a shit ton of clowns?
The moral of the story is this:the last shot of the night is always a mistake
Chili is not acceptable fuck buddy food.
We are totally like Jim and Pam, except ya know, drunk and not together anymore.
Randomize
