turns out I still hate jay leno...even at 10pm.
NoDDING MY HEAD LIKE uyuEAH MOViUNG MY HiPS LioKe YEAhhhhhhhhhhh
wow.
Their car went through the first bag of wine on the drive up...clearly 6 bags was not enough.
as you might have guessed from my lack of texts, the herpes have calmed down.
It's just like riding a bike. Only it's a dude's face.
Damn why is there no horse blowjob emoji?
Making drunken Mac n cheese at 3 am I understand why witches constantly stir their cauldrons. Much more homogenized temperature and slim chance of boiling over. Good job witches.
He used Kanye West lyrics to justify what happened and I accepted his logic
I'm keeping track of how many times I've said "Shhh, act like you're not naked." in my life. So far, 3 times.
We can get high as fuck when there are no orders. If not its cool. I just figured Take Your Blunt Buddy To Work Day.
He said I looked like a ballsack and I tried to choke him out with my Ghostbusters pajama pants. Happy fucking Halloween.
If someone told me one person in the department was secretly a death eater, I would suspect her, no contest.
At least your nickname is not Plunge Slut and that nickname is not in a published thesis work
I just opened my travel toothbrush holder and it smelled like vodka...maybe a vodka cranberry. This says a lot about my vacations.
What do you think would be the best way to remove a baby carrot from a vagina?
Randomize
