I texted him about a book we both like. I was expecting a "ya great book... let's bone" response. It didn't work
he was wearing sponge bob boxers. Guess how long he lasted.
Hannah Montana > iCarly
I'm disregarding that text and your testicles entirely
We just had to use a designated driver to get to night class.
We decided to play beer pong where the loser had to beer bong a pitcher of beer...people just started losing on purpose. It was a bad idea.
you'll be horrified to know he's visiting next weekend
You two are a rollercoaster of sex and silence.
I just need three more girls to complete my 'Freak-a-leak' bang list. Know any girls named Zahra, Shavon, or Daronda?
I bought everclear. Bring your party pants and some addies
You're not gonna punch me in the face again are you?
Nothing like drunkenly buying a pregnancy test at 8 am to get out and realize your nip was out the whole time.
Getting free blow from a total stranger, who asked permission to stroke my eyebrows, was the highlight of my evening out. Also, I have a new cuddle dealer.
I would rather her be sleeping with someone new than getting to go Harry Potter world before me...
Also a shrinking boner emoji would be helpful
Drink drank drunk tankkkkn, LETS GO
u ever get horny for food. i ordered a bunch of crepes and its doin it 4 me
His nipple licking is glorious
Randomize
