just found out there is no tactful way to ask your girlfriend to wax her stache. no matter what a google search would have you believe.
i was out of cigarettes so i took the butts out of the ashtray, emptied them out, and proceeded to roll one big Frankenstein cigarette.
Quick question, how many times can you get chlamydia before your vagina just gives up and falls off?
Instead of medicine they should just give ecstasy. Also I'm tingly and can't find u guys. A gay man just said he loved me... :( / :)
That would warm my breasts.
In this context breast is a metaphor for soul.
Please. That's just a patriotism boner. I watched Michael phelps win another medal and had to change my underwear.
the old man that you threw the shoe at says "hi" and many rude words...
First you say "it can't get any worse" and the next thing you know you've shat yourself on Christmas Eve.
If it makes you feel any better, I'm eating a block of cheese...
I think I used my hospital ID to cut the coke last night. I need to swab it for residue at work today.
If you can't accept me drawing a Santa hat on your penis then we can't be friends
I just spilled a shot of Patron on your mom.. Body shots may be happening. You better get here quick.
The most adult decision I've mad today was Jameson or Fireball? It's been a successful Day
I'm pretty sure our sex is better than most foods and that says a lot too bc I really like food
when I said eat the rich I didn't mean like that but here we are sucking that capitalist dick
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