I'm taking a dump and eating a fortune cookie and it said "Force it to be successful"
scale of 1-10 how well do I give head
5, but i have never had a 10. best was an 8 so if i grade you on a curve you are a 7. ish.
I wonder what it would be like to be a slice of cheese.
you were so drunk you slurred your pauses
I'm proud of us, I'm cleaning up the place and I haven't found a single beer can that isn't empty.
Mac n' cheese is coming out of my nose. You can't make that feel better
the guy was wearing a viagra shirt, i knew what i got myself into.
Btw after this weekend the chipndales costume has a 125% success rate.
Yea there's blood all over the porch but we wont have to buy alcohol for the rest of the week
Two words that describe last night: naked and backflips.
Rumble strips road head = magical
Let us rub each other in fish scales and become mermaids
Oh also we fucked while one of the old Rudolph movies was playing on tv so it was festive
Omg I should get on tinder just to get some edibles in town
We're in an alley with a psychic wizard, shes reading our palms
Randomize
