Emee failed...She used my genitals as a tampon
here I sit at Southern Illinois' finest pubs and I thought I heard your laugh. I was sadly astonished to turn and find a midget cracking herself up reading the label on her can of chewing tobacco...
And this is weird.. I feel slightly less depressed after shitting myself.
You were competing with my dog to see who had the stronger bark....
You are forgiven. I sent you a picture of a pumpkin man as a gesture of reconciliation.
plan d- we get drunk, go see that Justin Bieber movie and freak out 13 year old girls.
I'd say I should re evaluate my life choices, but I'd make the same decisions only faster and wearing a push up bra.
The next time i black out make sure i remove the ping pong balls from my weave. Especially before my first day of classes.
Its the least I can do really, I mean, I did sleep with her husband...
Really? I thought your parents stopped loving you when you drunkenly fell through the ceiling...
You just sat there for two solid hours staring at your monitor and every five minutes screamed "LEGOOOOOS"
She tried doing a backflip and ended up doing somersaults down the entire stair case.
Dude how much would someone have to pay you to get you to slide your vagina across a bald man's head because Honestly I'd do it for the experience alone. but money would be nice too\n\nI'm thinkin like 500 bucks. Maybe 700
Why are you like this.
Lynn just told me "I heard about your divorce. Condoms or morning pill your choice and I'm buying". Sorry but I got plans now bro.
Be there in 20. Want icecream?
sex. I want sex. I like where your heads at though.
Randomize
