It all came flooding back to me: there was a woman with one hand
How do you feel about the band name "O'labia Newton John"??
three words: i give head
three words: not that well
Some asshole just brought BK into my summer class, im already high as hell, i did not need another way to not pay attention
she sucked my dick to get the taste of the last guy's out. I need to find a new friend with benefits.
I opened my door to go to class and all there was was a raccoon puking on the doorstep. In hindsight, it was a very accurate omen.
I look like a herd of wild horses chewed on my back. If you bite me again while taking me from behind, I'm going to have to cut you off.
there was 12 of us, girls included, shirtless and wielding swords as we bet on rock paper scissors in the middle of the bar. It was like Cinco de Mayo version of the Deer Hunter
I just want you to know how happy I am that you are circumcised.
Yea, you were talking about how you did not want to be a reindeer for at least 5 minutes.
She said we could only have sex if she got to keep her fake moustache on during
For future reference.... When you take a beer out of a 6pack... You don't insert your phone as a substitute.
Some lady found my secret pooping bathroom at work. Do I fight her Highlander style? I made or may not be fashioning a crude sword from seat covers and toilet paper rolls.
Do it. DO IT. There can be only one.
Dude mama brought home the bacon, i got his HBO account i guess that makes up for his by par skills in bed.
Juice tastes so weird without alcohol
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