I heard we made out
I just chugged a whole pitcher of beer in 1 min. 9 sec. A whole goddamn pitcher.
just had to take a 4 hour nap to write a one page paper. its obviously the week after winter break.
I just claimed my unemployment in Vegas. This seems wrong.
Made a salesman quit his job, a saleswoman cry, and got a manager to half shout "fuck this"....successful drunk Christmas shopping
I'm in his phone as "nashville blowjob" he also has "cleveland blowjob" "vegas blowjob" etc. i'm okay with this.
Like I said I'm looking on the bright side. The bright side just happens to be filled with penis attached to hot marines
My ex was there, the 2 girls I'm seeing showed up and I had a pocket full of VIP passes 2 the strip club. Had all the makings of an epic night but I fell asleep at the bar.
I don't think people appreciate how hard it is to fuck in a portapotty. Sarah and I had train for that shit.
I don't have any bail money, if that's where this conversation is going
Perfect. Let's do that. I'm thinking everclear and green dye as our base. We shud start from there
Awk. Hanging with her while messaging her ex about sex injuries he gave me
Just realized that I bailed on you guys yesterday just so I could get wendy's. it was worth it but still, sorry
DESTROY DICK DECEMBER\nTHE SUN SHINES ON THE THIRSTY
I might be a bit late, couldn't find my pants and had to go to the police station. Unrelated
Randomize
