Wow so rude I was trying to have an orgy later but whatever
I think having sex with you would be a great treat for us
you guys got to bein so kosher and go with the flow
I want to buy you liquor! I want to kiss your face.
Well douche your snatch and let's go!
then she made me sanitize my hands before fingering her...i may have found my soulmate
he borrowed my computer and saw his name in my recent google searches. Things got awkward real fast.
I am watching the symphony and have decided that violin players probably give really good hand jobs.
stripped for him at 3am on my childhood playground and used the swing set as a pole.
So i know you wont get this until you land, but if i'm late its cause i was having sex. being blunt and hope that explains things.
May or may not have just lost a contact hanging out Anthony's sunroof. Drunk. Hint: I can only see out of one eye right now.
I own a halfway home for drunk girls, this is my life
Sushi was just eaten off my naked body. I feel like I can die in peace now.
Do you remember lying across two tables saying 'go away I'm trying to pull' to me, Sollie and Sean?
we're drinking bellinis i mean god's titty nectar
Duck, Duck, Goose is now the autocorrect, safe for work version of fuck, fuck, loose.
I'm drunk doing an ab workout. I can only hope I make it to bed tonight.
Randomize
