I've been thinking about all the girls in my life in terms of applying to college.
Huh?
I guess what im trying to say is that your my safety school.
They said "my eyes made me look intoxicated" ......we harassed them all night and we called the cops and told them that the bouncer that kicked us out was selling meth in the club ...and then we went to wendys
me and my sister are feeding my dog poprocks. this is proof you don't need a lot of money to have fun.
i opened her purse and found 4 bottles of vodka tampons and an unopened box of birth control...
I just found a Chris Hansen soundboard online, care to guess what I'll be doing all day?
picked up a girl by parallel parking. i love this town already.
the trail of clothing leading from the bed to the door was in the exact order i needed to put them on. underwear near the bed shoes by the door.
Dude you took some guys glasses off his face and ran out of the bar
Random memory from the wedding, the bartender showed us how to open the windows and piss out of them.
It's time for everyone's favorite Wednesday night game... WHEEL OF. VODKA!!!!!
what's the proper way to say, "I'm sorry for puking on you and your bed mid hook up then going downstairs and fucking your roommate because you locked me out of your room completely naked...?"
my last search of the night was "the physics of green eggs and ham" what the fuck
My liver needs me to go back to work asap.
My liver is screaming fuck you right now.
I'm still very high. To be blunt. No pun intended.
Randomize
