If you could channel this insane talent for stalking you'd be a great weapon for this country. If you had a crush on Bin Ladin, guaranteed he'd be found, monitered and tagged within five days.
I cant go down on him yet. All ive had to eat is olives and percocet. semen would only add to tomorow mornings discomfort.
There is an asian family here, I heard the mom call her son onyong
Can you bring me a pair of sunglasses to the bathroom please... Don't judge me.
The working title of my paper? "Tailgating: A Big Clusterfuck of Kids Who Dont Actually Give a Shit about Football"
I can't even use my hands i'm so hungover
you got me arrested i just think that goes without question you owe me a blowjob
Are you drunk? Because I am and if you're not, this may be very awkward in the morning
Thats for me to know and you to find out.
Just blowing bubbles with my nipple rings in my shower.
You always make things weird.
I hoped the great care he put into rolling a blunt would translate to my vagina.
Do you remember when I didn't post that pic of you fucking an avocado on your boss' desk? Can you return the favour?
2017 is my year to realize stuff. Move over Kylie Jenner
what happened to you last night?
I dunno man, i pissed in a urinal, sent you a picture of my vagina and woke up with 25 bar stamps on my arms.. you tell me
So I took a screenshot of my boarding pass and the TSA agent somehow swiped it to the next photo. Yep...TSA saw my dick before I even went through the body scanner.
I don’t care if there’s a pandemic. My husband gave me a hall pass for my 40th birthday and I’m going to use it!
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