I just blew up the bathroom at work and now I feel like a new woman
he screamed my twitter name while we were having sex.
Elton John & Lady Gaga just did a duet on the Grammies. How appropriate. He likes cock & she happens to have one.
i'm trying to figure out what goes best with beef ramen. a 2007 merlot or a 2008 pinot noir? i'm leaning toward the pinot noir.
no seriously, she's legit pissed i'm late to lunch because i was watching full house. there's obviously no future here.
Despite fighting the urge to vomit throughout the whole thing, I think that interview went really well!
I loved your drunken rendition of "I wanna dance with somebody" that you left on my voicemail last night.
Dancing naked to Celine dion - im alive. No better way to start the day
BTW, you ever shave a dick into my dog, I'll cut you. I'll laugh first, but then I'll cut you
Figured out how to triple bathroom speed at #lollapalooza.. Girl squats, guy 1 goes between her, guy 2 uses urinal. Your welcome.
Cheese, the small of a woman's back, the universe, mountains, vampiric demons, sleep, and dreams.
Erin was right. There were bees at the after hours.
Had sex on the beach last night with a drug dealer. win-win-win situation
i don't know what happened one minute im stumbling home drunk and the next im drinking pabst and smoking with a french guy ive never met named hugo.
I know! It's like he knows when my vagina wants to misbehave!
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