you want me
i'd rather choke on a dick.
Nice 2 c u showing ur bro some affection
You should swallow it and be like the ticking crocodile. Only you play Still of the Night.
I did not just catch my dad watching porn.I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn.I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn.
shes laying on the floor in a bowl of salsa with her pants half off and she's crying... i dont know what to do...
I'm having one of my monday morning walk of shame coffees if you care to join.
She said we "made love." I had to explain to her that when both parties agree that the first time time they have sex both people agree to video tape the whole thing its not "making love" but more like random good time fun sex.
He walked into the pizza shop... Pulled the fire alarm.. And proceeded to dance to it...
Pretty sure I was high. I thought there was music coming out of my makeup bag.
If there is a heaven, that's what it will be. Bagel Bites and cunnilingus.
Good new is, my parents are alive. Better news they will be in the hospital all weekend. Best news is im having a house party. All weekend.
It was the scariest thing ever having a flame that close to my balls...
I'm pretty sure I broke my breathalyzer by breathing vaporized vodka into it.
On a scale of 1 to i should hide, how deep did i dig my grave?
are you the reason the first floor girls' bathroom smells like weed?
Randomize
