this is probably the only time in my life that i would want to fuck thomas jefferson
It was the third Sunday in a row that I woke up in his bathtub. So no our sex life isn't that great anymore.
your drunk ass trust falled a guy double fisting bud limes and as a result your head bounced off the patio table. So that might explain the stitches on the back of your head.
Yeah. You can ask him out. We're just fuck buddies. My vagina will be sad but your heart can be happy.
I don't know if I want to live in a world where i can't fuck an exes brother.
Is it acceptable to cry on a Friday or am I supposed to drink to forget it?
But you can't tell me I give the best blow jobs and then not break up with your girlfriend who has fucking TMJ! Come on!
This is not 2004 anymore. It's not acceptable to get fingered while watching 'Ferngully' in a basement full of your friends.
He just pulled a Spanish chick using google translate!!!! We are at the bar and she speaks zero English. Hes a fucking magician!!!!!!
I just did shots of fireball with my dad in a car wash. How's your pregaming going?
Well, I dont really know how much penis you have at your disposal so I cant be sure
I feel like I shouldn't be encouraging my friends to hook up with their teachers.....but if it's for academic reasons....then I definitely encourage it.
I'm just now realizing I've slept with guys from three different decades over the past year. That's gotta be some sort of record.
If i'm not ready, make sure i'm alive. Not passed out dead in the shower.
I'll still do breakfast to celebrate the life you've had.
I’m going to give his broken heart CPR with my vagina
Randomize
