3 complete strangers have joyously high-fived me on campus today. Tell me why, starting after jager bomb #4.
All i remember before i blacked out is you pointing to a random chick and telling me to bang her for America.
So i wrote 'don't sex me' on my stomach, so that if we got to a point where my shirt is off - he would know how i really feel, not just the alcohol talking
how did that work out?
Well, all the water washed it off, so we ended up fucking since i didn't have my reminder...
thinking back, the fact that our bartender was missing a finger shouldve been hint number one not to let him pick our drinks
It wasn't so much skinny dipping. It more like skinny walking...through a fountain.
You called me and said "Aidan's unconscious" to which he said "I'm conscious, I'm conscious pilot"
He was filled with the holy spirit. And vodka.
Old men love us. For they have fine taste and disturbing minds.
We should go, because after those margaritas time is running out on my sobriety clock.
i'm hungover but need to study so i had a vodka orange juice, three ibuprofen and an adderall for breakfast. what up med school
Okay who let me pass out in a recliner cuddling a pitbull and a cardboard cutout of Orlando Bloom
I mean. I just want to sit in my bed and eat bagels. What's wrong with that?
All boys are excommunicated from my vagina until further notice.
ETA 20 minutes and if you greet me at the door with a gin & tonic I’ll give you head.
My professor is wearing skinny jeans, orange socks and just said penetration. I don't know what to think
Dude, I'm pretty sure I just drank iced tea last night and yet I'm still hungover. What the fuck is my body anymore ?
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