Is Jonathan Taylor Thomas a gay? I need you to google search it for me. Its important
Helping high family members not look retarded is what family is for
i just sold a bong and some oregano to fifth graders for sixty dollars. doing something tonight?
Tidal wave of highness just hit. Find shelter and catnip. gloves. zebra striped car washes.
do you really not remember him getting up at like 4am with a leaf blower running through the house and telling people to "WAKE THE FUCK UPPP"
Apparently I told his new girlfriend to stop swallowing because she's getting fat. Oh, and I yelled this across a large room
I'll never be able to have sex on these sheets. I'd have to cover up the eyes of every single Elmo.
You drink it until you puke in a vent one time and it's ruined forever.
Tiny.
I mean tony. It's like autocorrect knows he wasn't well endowed.
He couldn't get his dick hard. So he started yelling at it. " EVERYONE is laughing at you, you piece of shit no wonder you can't get pussy" i wonder if that happens frequently I'll try again next weekend
apparently I like to do this thing where I wear pretty dresses and then pee on things on public. Picture proof. Four times last week.
It was dumb but not something to force me into sobriety
He said he wanted to lick the breadcrumbs off my chest
Nice. I like it when Maker's Mark makes decisions for you.
I dont remember you getting a condom thrown at you. I think I had a concusion
Randomize
