My mom foundout about my dui nd just called me to come home. I just took acid like 30 min ago. Wht should i do?
dude, im still at the bar with two chics... one has a moustache ill save that one for you... be home in 20min..
So are we goin out tonight?
Dude, we woke up in your car in some parking lot last night...
And that was fun, wasn't it?
he actually used the line "do you have a map, because i'm lost in your eyes" and i was to drunk to care
please come get me his dick is out. i'm sitting on his couch and his dick is out. come now
a small fire erupted but we put it out with a can of beer so everything's fine
how was it?
he was petting the bushes because they were "napkins"
He was drinking wine out of a pyrex measuring cup at two in the afternoon and told me my ass looked fantastic in my sweatpants. I love university
I'm at some strange place in what feels like Mexico, high and getting tacos.
It was so cute that he apologized for getting cum on my couch. If he realized how many guys had cum on that couch in the past year, he wouldn't have touched my vagina with a 10-ft pole.
I need to be drunk within 15 minutes of getting home tonight.
He told me I look like a librarian today. I hope that means he has a librarian fetish or something
Disregard. He says he said I look "agrarian" today and just proceeded to compare me to Mumford and Sons. Fuck it, I'm going home and drinking
Lol I screamed "GOT AN ORDER OF VERSACE TACOS UP" and the whole kitchen was just like who the fuck is this kid
I'm ne vrr drinkjng againnnnnnnn dforeal.
scale of one to ten how loathsome is it to save my chocolate easter bunny to use for a topping on my edibles
Randomize
