is hooking up with someone you used to babysit wrong?
hey, here's something you don't have worry about since you're a girl: finding crusty cum in your bellybutton.
Nobody has ever asked me for my honest opinion on whether they needed anal bleaching before
after tonight, seriously nothing could taste better than toothpaste
I totally just stopped for a booty call on the way to my parents for easter....good friday is an understatement
The hypnotist is here. He has a black eye and smells like tequila.
I apparently insisted on hugging all the bushes and apologizing for pollution on the way home.
Ugh I can't even look at alcohol this weekend, my body needs to heal.
Mmm. Champagne. Weed. 17 pounds of animal crackers.
I think he might be using me for sex. I also think I might be ok with that.
The cup holder in my recliner holds a whole bottle of wine. That's definitely a sign.
He started yelling terms of endearment at a cheese sandwich. Then he tried to hump it.
I was all, oh. I've had tattoos and broken a limb. Waxing my lady parts will be a cake walk. I was wrong.
You mom sent me some article linking anal sex, damaged prostates and sterility. Does she still think your gonna go straight and have kids one day?
I just watched a magician wearing a fedora deep throat a balloon\n
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