If you think im a hippy you should see these girls. They would scissor mother nature if they had the chance.
a woman just threw her tv out the window while screaming "will you fucking work now?". i'm never moving
my facebook is like a giant collection of my one night stands
But life isn't just all about getting drunk & eating chicken strips.
did you find a tooth?
did you lose one?
So he might be the smartest man alive. He had the stripper pick him up taco bell on the way to the room for an extra 50 bucks.
Just had a random flashback of you tickling some guy's nipple with your claw ring, and then him moaning and stripping in the middle of the bar. You give good memories.
I should have questioned it early on when they said bring beer and chocolate syrup
They wouldn't serve more then two Shots per person, so you grabbed a group of strangers and said u werre buying them all shots, then proceeded to drink all of them.
Who knew that "When in doubt, pelvic thrust" would end up being the best motto ever? In other news, I think I may have joined roller derby.
I feel like the way you told me you weren't pregnant was pretty anticlimactic.
So we were having sex and his roommate walks in eating a bag of chips. Then proceeds to talk to us about his bitch of a professor.
Did he at least offer you guys chips?
You are the ghost of drunk bitches past, present, and future.
I just licked wine off my own thigh. I've hit a new low.
We walked 3 miles to the strip club. Stopped for roadies, it wasn't that bad.
Randomize
