Do you think he likes his girlfriend's moustache?
You were face down, at your computer, surrounded by beer bottles listening a bagpipes version of amazing grace.
I think my plan to not drink this week was just ruined by my mothers discovery of the chat function on facebook
she's got that wholesome 16 and pregnant look.
All i learned in high school was how to sell drugs
Do you how many people I've successfully loaded into a Mazda Miata? Six. Six people. How? Strategically.
Im drinking in homer but I guess Egan got arrestest on an "assault by water ballon" charge but tom actually threw the water balloon in question at the bartender.
I deem it safe for us to drink together again.
They dropped the charges?
Yeppers. Come drink beers.
my roommate just showed me the scar on her forehead... that she got from a shake weight... That. just. happened.
Doors open. I'm laying in bed watching caddy shack and drinking a vodka tonic.
And I'm out of vodka so bring vodka or 2013 will blow ass
Thanks for that golden cinnamony goodness that flowed from your fake tits last night haha
You fell in the corner and refused to get up unless someone helped you. And then you crawled under the pool table and took a nap.
Checking my Tinder matches as I sit here in the waiting room at Planned Parenthood. I can't be stopped.
We need some Captain and Fanta. That shit will change your life. Sidenote, bring an IV drip to hook me to in the morning
I just asked my mom if I could be the drunk realitive at the reunion. She said as long as I'm not obvious.
Randomize
