If a woman tells you she has been pink socked...don't move forward with her.
News Flash: Turtles are cuter than Jesus.
Congrats on damning at least 10 generations of your offspring to hell with just one text message. Way to start your morning off right.
She was wearing a shirt that said "Just Do Me", holding a half of a bottle of Vodka, and was screaming at her friends "PUSSY JUST SWALLOW!" before she chugged the rest of the bottle.
Dude, if you don't take her, I will.
What part of "you pissed in the tent" do you not understand?
i dont think duct tape can fix my g spot
lets call myth busters
i have one question about last night
if this is about your fridge being filled with hotdogs, sour cream, and PB&J open-faced sandwiches, i can explain
Results of pregaming honors college basketball social: 18 points, 3 blocks, and 3 flagrant fouls leading to 2 broken bones on former valedictorians. I'm doing this more often.
If drinking before honors events and injuring our universities brightest doesn't get you kicked out of the program, you're not trying hard enough.
What's the politically correct way of saying you've made someone your bitch?
Would it be out of line to take a picture of all the earrings, rings, hairclips, and other miscellaneous girl items that I found under my bed and post it on facebook and tag all the girls that I slept with this year so they can claim their shit and get it out of my house?
Yeah, first time I've shit my pants in my twenties... I'm thinking about putting it on my Facebook timeline
I wish I'd realized he looked like Skrillex before I was already in the middle of fucking him...
With a stable of 7 fuck buddies, I literally use a random number generator to determine the order in which I will booty call them on my way home from work. I have not slept in my own bed in a month. I just keep half my clothes hanging in my car or in a suitcase.
How are you getting in?
I know some influential drag queens
Are you planning on wandering into construction sites drunk and falling down 6' holes?
probably
thank you for the vibrator recommendation, i've come six times today and it's only noon
Randomize
