why do married chicks ALWAYS cry after?
Well i then put my mattress in my closet and am currently on it. This is a new one.
10 dollar pizza all the toppings you want. Wait Until You See This Pizza
I don't have nearly enough visine for the dryness from sticking my head out the window on the freeway for 20 minutes. Child lock me next time.
Aaaaand I just watched him face plant in front of the taxi. This is why we don't invite him to margarita night.
He's got a southern drawl and a lisp. I'm getting mindfucked right now.
Now one day I will be able to tell my children how a drag queen in a gay bar told mommy that bin laden was dead
It was honestly like he was directing a porno or something. he kept telling different people to grab other people's boobs, it was all very artistic.
He's a Shit stain on my heart
Is it a bad thing that I'm trimming my nose hairs in anticipation for the 8ball to be delivered?
i seriously haven't spoken to him since i drunk dialed him and told him i loved his beard
I got picked up after "I just threw up in my face". Then I had very specific instructions involving the bathtub.
These guys are just fucking with my heart instead of fucking me. They're fucking up.
You ran up a $300 bar bill on his card and he didn't have you arrested, be grateful and move on.
My head is bruised from having sex in the backseat of an explorer last night.
Randomize
