I actually just cleaned easy glide lube off my desk. My life has gone way down hill since I met you.
its always fun the next morning to look around the room and see where all the clothing landed.
I promise you I could read that dogs mind, he was arguing with the other dog saying he knows how fucked up I am
i really should have bought real food rather than condoms, olives, coleslaw and beer...
You threw a bunch of trashcans into the middle of the street and nothing happened. I fell on one car and suddenly there were cops everywhere...
Dude, I fucked her last night with nothing but my bandana on. Like straight Indian chief style.
Drinking gin at a party, riding a giant inflatable walrus all around the living room.
also, the amount of semen in my carpet right now is unforgivable...
So my mom wants me to come swim with dolphins with my little sisters in October. I'm not sure how to tell her I saw a "when dolphins attack" special when I was rolling and am now terrified of them.
Definitely worth waiting her kid to got to sleep when the first thing you hear once she's back is "I want you in my ass right now"
Not sure. He doesn't know where New York is on a map but he gives an incredible spanking.
Who cares about New York?
You need to finger her with the Spock hand sign since she loves Star Trek.
Hey buddy, turns out those were the PB&shroomwiches, soooo you may want to reconsider dinner with your girlfriends family tonight...
The only thing I want for my birthday is a divorce from you.
I woke up to find I still had sequins under my tits. I'd say Sunday was a success.
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