Do you think an esthetician would be willing to wax the Chanel Cs into my crotch? That way, whenever a guy gets ready to pound on it I can go "Careful, it's Chanel."
I'm pregaming with America's Best Dance Crew.
Do a shot everytime Lil' Mama mispronounces a word.
frozen peaches as icecubes. vodka Sundays just got wayyyy better
she has over 3,000 tagged photos on facebook. dont tell me she isnt annoying.
She's in Spain. I'm in Holland. World Cup Final is Sunday.
Dude, it's like the Romeo and Juliet of FIFA.
There is a slip-n-slide in the hallway and a girl just did it topless cuz I told her it was my birthday. Where are you?
They sext over her pic comments. Role playing as wolves.
did you know that if you have sex in the elevator on the way up that people can still get in?
Why do you have to go to the hospital?
I gotta apologize to a male nurse who's tryin to press assault charges on me
Well, that was my first dog walk of shame. Nothing says "I've got my life together" like an inside out shirt and a baggie full of dog shit.
I drank beer out of some sort of animal horn all night, then we fucked to a "viking metal" album. I feel like I should go pillage something to complete the Norse trifecta.
It's okay that we broke up and all but it's not okay that he still has my Chick-fil-A calendar card. This month is free fries!
At what point can I admit that I hate going to house parties?
I don't wanna stand in your shitty kitchen making small talk while I guard the quality booze I brought.
so i fell out of a tree on the ave last night. someone told me there was alcohol at the top. bastards.
because he's a firefighter, wouldn't sleeping with him be like saying thank you to the community?
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