Pussy?
how
Wat do u mean how?
my sober ride is dancing w/ a fat girl. i might be awhile
I think being an adult is being able to say no to free shots...I need to work on that.
She's laying here with her head in my lap stoned, eating Doritos, whining about her boyfriend, and listening to Cher. Fuck the friend zone.
Have you seen Dave? He's not on top of the bar anymore but I found his shirt.
He said he wanted to make me his Twinkie, "filled with his delicious cream." ABSOLUTELY 100% NO YOU MAY NOT REPEAT ****NOT**** GIVE HIM MY NUMBER EVER EVER EVER. Please confirm receipt and full comprehension of this message.
He's currently surrounded by roughly 23 girls he fucked and never called. He may not make it out of here. Bar of doom? Or of redemption?
I know. It's cray. Crayon. Crayolaaaaa.
I'm gonna fuck that sweet little pussy of yours into absolute submission
Wow. Sorry. As soon as I sent that I felt inappropriate. But yes. Bring a sandwich after. Lol
As I read your response saying I need a tan before I can become a go-go dancer, a girl cane up to work and gave me 10 coupons for 100 days of tanning for a dollar.
This is fate. You were destined to be a stripper.
You very well can't change your mind now. It would upset the natural flow of life.
He called some chick he used to fuck for cash to get food delivered to cheer me up
Things he's good at: oral sex and geometry. Things he's not good at: actual sex.
We can only continue to use the "oh what's the difference between circumcised and uncircumcised" for a few more months before people will see through our lies
What can i say, my face is nice and my body is just unreal. And my beer pouring/stealing is incredible \n
Like sometimes I’ll be hangry but for dick
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