so craigslist just dropped their "erotic services" ads. there goes our livelyhood
Can you send me a pic of you vag, I'm sexting the guy and he wants a pic but I didnt shave
dude are you serious?
I know you already have a pic on your phone
i just woke up in the hallway. not my hallway. i officially raise my hand to be DD next week.
his text ended with ... everyone knows dot dot dot equals infer sexy time
the cashier at riteaid just made the sign of the cross before he rang up my pregnancy test. now i know god is on my side
An ad on my facebook says "don't be THAT girl". Its like it knows.
I'm not saying going to the volleyball games drunk on Tuesday night was a bad idea I'm just saying we shouldn't make a routine of it.
Drunk. I slept-stripped.
By myself.
in a garage, wearing a toga, theyre debating the logistics of Coke Pong. If I don't make it out of here... it was me who stole your Barbie in the 4th grade- I've never forgiven myself.
Seriously, do normal people actually get work done being this hungover? No wonder the economy's in the shitter
He's laying next to me passed out dressed as a hooters girl
I bet he's a super pretty hooters girl
I am pretty sure we beat baby seals over the head in a past life. That is why we are being punished.
FUCK and YOU. times 10. To infinity and beyond. You bastard. Worst. Cockblock. Ever. I'm going to nail your sister.
And I am bleeding like slutty girl #1 In a horror movie
If I stopped mid-sex because the guy was hung like a light switch, it doesn't count, does it? Like the five second rule.
Randomize
