i was like the pretty and slutty 8th grade girl who goes to a party, gets wasted, and ends up having sex with a senoir
details?
alcohol + bed + penis = sex
shes trying to light up her bowl in front of the fan. everytime it blows it out she just gives it a dirty look.
Your the only friend that would realize I'm gonna get drunk and send coke to me at a bar before I made drunken phone calls for it. You sir complete me.....
She is putting glow sticks from her bedroom to the bathroom. She is calling it 'Being prepared'. God help us all tonight...
She told me she's going to buy a projector so she can watch porn on her ceiling...I'm telling you man this chick is going places
There's a fried egg and an empty bottle of reddiwhip in the parking lot. Did you have fun last night?
My password hint says "not sunset, also facebook." i need to stop doing computer things while high. I will never figure this clue out.
i'm just sitting here watching hocus pocus, eating takeout, and taking self esteem quizzes online while everyone is out partying. you tell me how my night is.
drying my bra with a hair dryer wasn't exactly how I had planned on starting my day.
That awkward moment when you are on your way to ICU and the only sympathy gift you can think of is beer and whiskey
I am available for nakedness
Jesus I was next level high last night having a mental epiphany about the state of Virginia
Oh also we fucked while one of the old Rudolph movies was playing on tv so it was festive
Just ate 2 pieces of pizza in the shower.. New low or fuckin brilliant??
I'm currently using a band-aid to cover my bar stamp from last night while I ask my professor for an extension. That's a sign of getting more responsible, right?
Randomize