i have the juiciest gold medal in my pants
you dont have to exercise, you threw up last night!
My mom just informed me that my dog licks their toes while her and my dad are having sex. I'm apartment searching.
oral is when you put your mouth on someones privates and play moterboat or popsicle
Just asked the bartender if I could use the register to see my grades.
i'm pretty sure i saw my life flash before my eyes when we ran a red light. i continued to drink and be the drunk backseat driver.
we just got kicked out of the mexican restaurant. i have a full pitcher of margarita's hiding under my coat.
found inexpensive tickets to Norway. Questioning if its legal. PLEASE tell me you remebered the walkie talkies and face paint.
So roofie roulette was a success but I'm a little worried that the 2 who got the tainted beer still haven't contacted anyone...
You told her that she shouldn't be allowed to wear clothes then when her roommate asked if you like her you said "no I just want to insert things into her"
I stand by it.
I'm so excited for post-beer fest chipotle. It will be better than scared shitless pre-go karting chipotle.
I thought we agreed to no sexting at the school bake sale...
We need a rematch, I think my pussy was on vacation the other night.
girls shouldnt black out with american flag bandaids on their nips
Of course his mom thinks you're nice, she doesn't know you have sex for cheeseburgers
One time!! I like sex and food....
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