I would do horrible things to your vagina.
Prove it.
i just looked up and i was like omg ballsack and then i didnt know what to do
I finally got laid.. you said it wouldn't happen.
If you weren't supposed to have sex with your ex then they wouldn't rhyme.
The dentist just giggled when he accidentally shot water across my face, I can sense how he treats women.
your mascara is on the toilet seat from when you fell asleep last night
There's a good chance a guy sucked off my right earring last night
So the first 4 hours of my morning was equivalent to seeing under water. Things were starting to get better until I remember I drank mustard for free stuff and flossed my teeth with a strand of hair from a stranger in the bathroom.
I got Pilsbury cinnamon rolls for us to have tomorrow, but I don't have the willpower to leave them in my fridge overnight, so I am eating them all and getting us more in the morning
I love you more by the minute
Stop calling dibs on everything with a vagina you jackass.
That should be the title of my autobiography.
Do you know how hard it is to put a bandaid on a vagina?
I don't mean to crush your hopes and dreams but having sex IN the Stanley Cup isn't possible
she broke a 50 dollar bottle of alcohol. then passed out in front of her car and got sprayed by a skunk
so i fell out of a tree on the ave last night. someone told me there was alcohol at the top. bastards.
Yes I’m serious. I just worked YOUR 12 hour shift on 3 hours of sleep if you come over without tacos and an ice cream cake in hand we are done
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