Who knew there were guys that wanted to only stalk you instead of date you? Count on me to find them!
I saw a penis in my cereal this morning. do you think my cheerios are like professor trelawney's tea leaves?
one can only hope.
half the nation just spent an hour watching a balloon fly around. we are officially the dumbest fucking country.
I don't think there's a better bc pill reminder then when teen mom comes on
I wonder what a non-hungover friday at work is like
But it was well worth it to see a man fly through the air in a beaver costume...
You were on shrooms and "the trees are crazy green!" is all you could manage.
Omg. I have a story to tell you later about that girl that just crawled on stage
Nothing like the soothing screaming of your neighbor getting boned while eating a pizza on the front porch.
she keeps dunkaroos and gatorade in her bed. yep pretty sure im in love.
I didn't want to hook up with him so I just jumped out of bed, yelled "I don't even believe in god!" and ran out of the room
Took my plan b at Costco today, sample Sunday for the win.
Is it tacky to frame a negative pregnancy test?
I just remembered that before we left my house I vowed to stay fully clothed and I FAILED
got cock blocked by the cops again. two of the cops were the same ones from that t bell incident and they recognized me... they still dont like me
Randomize
