better yet, through the bookshelves. like an intellectual glory hole
You should be grateful to be my roommate. My booty calls always drive you places in the morning.
just broke no shave november. hello backed up drain december.
Just took my pill on time for two days in a row. I deserve a prize.
Not having phil's child is good enough.
I was crying hysterically and you wouldn't stop petting my ear and shushing me every time I tried to say something.
Typical Sunday afternoon purchase of condoms and a helium tank.
Her vagina smelled like pancake batter. That's all you need to know.
I just put my hair into this ponytail & it looks hideous & really cool at the same time. I am dedicating it to the hangover I have
Based on the time of Sean's "I'm on your street" phone call last night, we had sex for an hour and a half. Man, time flies when you're getting boned to an orgasmic death.
High water is the most godliest tasting water in the world.
That moment when you can't decide if you should vote for the random frat guy you have head to at the beginning of the semester for business and technology senator.
I just puke and rallied at my anniversary dinner #winning
you left your anal beads in the dishwasher
It's such a sad loss when a hot guy finds Jesus and grows a neckbeard
I cant tell you how much harder a belt makes hoeing
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