This situation is one cop call away from being a Lifetime movie.
Pretty sure that this text will cost me like $5 but just wanted you to know that I just smoked a bowl of kush, about to walk around shopping for hookers and i get 3 credit hours for this study abroad .... have fun studying for finals.
He's prob getting laid right now and I'm sitting alone in my duct tape shoes.
Just hit him with your car. I can guarantee he won't do it again.
The next time i black out make sure i remove the ping pong balls from my weave. Especially before my first day of classes.
I'm going on a new diet. It's called the "eat healthy otherwise boys won't want to have sex with your fat ass" diet. Wish me luck.
Well on a lighter note, I had sex in a food truck.
Just saw some lesbians get in a fistfight in an Arby's parking lot. It's good to be home.
I round house kicked her emotions in the face
You have better ratings than Crest. Only 4/5 dentists recommend it. You have 8/9 recommendation for your blowjob skills.
3 cups of coffee and some molly. The "Tay's Day Off Diet"
We just finished having sex and as soon as we get out of bed he yells "trust fall" and runs me over
Who knew she had talents apart from chugging wine spritzers
i woke up on the couch at 5:24am, hangover, craving for some ribs, but i only had a bag of cheetos and a half empty beer. man what a breakfast.
And it only took a fake engagement ring, a condom and a bowl of weed
Randomize
