She wanted to test if her costume allows her to still have sex in it. It does
not only did i manage to get kicked out of the bar, i also got kicked out of denny's. i didnt even know that was possible.
U just looked at me and said "wake me up when I'm done eating"
I thought i'd save money with No Heat November but the amount of whiskey i have to buy to stay warm is probably adding up to more than a heat bill.
Just got complimented on my chugging... Car bombs show how good I am at swallowing, they should be my new pickup line.
The cop told you to put your hands behind your back and you slurred "I'm not falling for that again"
The woman that sang I Touch Myself died today. There's only one appropriate way to honor her memory.
I'm on the job.
Why were you not born a dude?
Because god wanted to level the playing field
My gynecologist just said "don't worry, this won't be as hard as…well…" A FUCKING SEX JOKE NO
Well, I just bought plan b with the tips I made from the job that I slept with my manager. So yeah, that's my life. How's yours?
Sorry for peeing on you and your bed last night.
I don't WANT a sex disease! Especially one assigned to me by my supervisor..
i told her we had a class about unicorns together. i'd say it was a good night
She pooped on me during a reverse cowgirl. And it wasn't a little bit either.
Divorce can be hard, but look on the bright side. Your soon to be ex raved about your dick and I’m great with hard things ;-)
Randomize
