I think I'm going to start texting all the people that don't want to talk to me
I have no morals, kinda like you have no standards
None
walked right past julianne moore (on her walk of shame this morning) god i love new york. :)
He's a firefighter, who has his own band. I'm pregnant just thinking about him.
I woke up to blood crusted on my face. I don't understand
team rage. no explanation necessary
just so you know, you can get through airport security with handcuffs no questions asked
Yes, that was ME getting carried out of the club singing 'i believe i can fly'
As I was climbing out of the pool he slapped my ass and said 'stay golden', i don't know why but it felt right.
we should hire that guy that makes pancakes that we met last weekend for our next party. He can feed us, and regulate!
Ok... I'm a little jealous... Grab her pig tails and ride her like a jet ski. Making motor noises is optional.
it wasnt even considered partying. it was like "ok, who can get the most shitfaced and not pass out"
You come home the day the world is supposed to end. Well played Mayans.
Sometimes you just gotta get high and go to a planetarium. Why can't he understand that?
So, I ran into Garrett last night in the laundry room.
Oh really? First post break-up run in. How'd it go? Awkward?
Um. We had sex on a washing machine.
it's like my eyeball is being humped by my eyelid
Randomize
